Fighting in front of the kids

It is something I never wanted to do, but somehow it keeps on happening – fighting in front of the kids. It is inevitable and it happens to all parents at one point or another. But how do you fight fair and reasonably in front of your children without scarring them in some way.

Fighting is sometimes more than just shouting and disagreeing about something.  It can range from giving each other the silent treatment, or making snide remarks. As adults, we don’t always act like adults when we fight. As uncomfortable as it is to admit this, when we fight we tend to become more like children, yelling and throwing tantrums to prove our point.

It is very admirable to not want to fight in front of your children, but in reality this is almost impossible.  Fighting is not something that can be planned ahead of time, it just happens, and most of the time the children are caught in the crossfire.

When my husband and I start fighting, my eldest son puts his hands over his ears, which immediately forces us to stop.  Before we had children, our fights could last for days because we just plainly refused to see each other’s point of view and resolve the matter.  Now we have to settle our differences much faster because there are two little boys who could be affected by the conflict.

We have accepted the fact that we cannot always avoid fighting in front of the children, because it is not always feasible to grab them and remove them from the room before World War III commences.  But, we can change the way we fight in front of them. I know it isn’t always easy to control the manner in which the fight is conducted, but better to make sure that both parties know exactly where the battle lines are drawn, and that they shouldn’t be crossed, no matter what.  To use a well known boxing term: “Let’s keep it clean.”

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